I absolutely lost my shit today and had a huge meltdown after stuffing my face w sushi and getting dicked down. I hate those days when I can’t run home fast enough to my apartment before I start the tears start coming down and I’m alone and can finally let myself fall apart again and stop pretending to be this nice friendly person when in reality I’m like FUCK EVERYONE in my head. I’m so so so tired and fed up of pretending to laugh at ppls jokes and act like someone I’m not. I fucking hate myself hate my life I give up. Legit every two weeks I lose my shit and have a huge mental breakdown it sucks so much it’s so hard to just bounce back from that shit no one will ever understand. I have to force myself to be social I literally never want to see anyone except my to best friends my cat and sometimes my mom. Kms. Time to listen to depressing music and smoke until I’m dead 🙃🙃🙃
THERE SLUGS! 😱I should honestly just kms at this point. I literally got 3 seconds of sleep and I had the weirdest dream abt my ex so I woke up and couldn’t stop eating blueberries. Tomorrow I have to get up at 6am for a shoot but I’m finna hotbox the uber on the way there and show up lit AF cuz I cannot handle waking up before 12pm. I’m so slumped and I’m supposed to be looking at apartments but instead I’m procrastinating and kmsing.
HAHAHAHAHA remember when I fell in love w my personal trainer and THEN HE REJECTED TO MY FACE GHOSTED ME MADE ME CATCH FEELINGS AND THEN MOVES IN NEXT DOOR TO MY APARTMENT 😐😐😐I swear I’m cursed. Genuinely the universe fucking hates me like what did I do
I have 0% self esteem, hate myself and everyone else, always am in a bad mood, my excuses are that I’m busy or tired but rlly I’m super antisocial and can’t stand being around ppl it drains my energy.
Today started out productive and I got shit done but now my mom pissed me off and I have a headache and I’m so done w my life at this point I can’t deal I’m so overwhelmed and pissed off all the time and I don’t wanna see anyone or do anything social so kms I’m probably ruining all my connections and relationships by being irritated and antisocial but that’s okay
Last night I had a dream I was happy and in love and I woke up with a migraine and stressed af and single so kms
Can’t sleep. Too anxious and stressed. I smoked a shit ton of weed and I still can’t fall asleep 😥😥ugh this is every night tho.

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